So I have been harboring these feelings quite long in my life. I used to be jealous of girls who were popular and smart. It felt to me that they had it all. I never wanted them to do bad, I just found it so unfair that while I had struggle, everything came so easy to them. Furthermore, their beauty and popularity actually even motivated teachers to treat them better. So I felt like I was working for nothing and nobody cared about my hard work. Those who already had so much just continued to get more.
My opinion is that life is unfair and it is better for ourselves that we admit this. It was much easier for me to accept it in terms of social class. I found it extremely unfair that some people are born in really bad economic conditions and others can enjoy the riches. Furthermore, those that are born economically privileged do not want to admit that they have a privilege, but instead keep saying that the poor just did not try hard enough. This was easy for me to accept because it felt clear to me (unlike to so many other middle class people).
However, it has been a real challenge for me to accept that even though I was born to lower middle class parents, I had so many other challenges which I have had to overcome. I had a pretty bad childhood, especially when compared to other middle class members. Furthermore I have had several health conditions which I have struggled with my whole life and I have had many other troubles just coming to me when grownup.
It is usual for me to get an unempathic attitude from other people. Similarly than with social class background, people who have been lucky in life, either by having good parents or just getting good opportunities without much effort, do not want to admit this. Instead, they go out of their way to say that you must have just not worked hard enough, be good enough or are making a fuss about a small thing.
However, I understood that it was not only other that treated my problems that way. I, myself, treated myself in this manner. I would often put myself down for not having come further in life. I would tell to myself when I was feeling bad about another unluck that I am just making too big of a deal. That my emotions are wrong. That somehow maybe I have not worked hard enough…
Lately I have come to understand that I have actually reason to feel under privileged. I have had much more trauma and drama in my life than most people I know. In fact I still have more unluck than most people next to me. I think allowing oneself to accept that yes, life is unfair and sometimes one really has bad luck, will set you free in many ways. You will stop blaming yourself for the things which might not be your fault to begin with. You will stop taking responsibility for many things which might have been outside of your control. Of course I do not advocate victimization here, but I think our society often times blames people all too easily of victimization. Sometimes people really are victims and then it is a real assholish move to tell to this person – well you should have done X differently or you just did not try hard enough.