It has been two months since Chase’s death and I feel that perhaps for the first time I can say something about this and about loss. See, I have had to go through a lot of loss in my life, more than most people during their whole life, I dare to say. But for the first time now I am aspiring to seek answers to what loss can actually give to us.
Do not misunderstand me, this is not part of – everything has a meaning in this life and serves us for the greater good. I am still not really finding it in me to fully immerse myself in this philosophy. However, I do feel I can say some words about how I deal with loss.
The way I deal with loss is by changing myself. Loss, by definition, is a change. Your life needs to accommodate to the fact that the person so important for you is not anymore there. This is forced change which many of us are not ready to face. I try to deal with the loss by changing myself to the degree that who I was at the point in met this person becomes part of past. Then I can think, this person was part of my ‘blue’ period. It is a way to categorize the different periods of your life by lessons, by what kind of a person you were back then.
Loss becomes a process that pushes you towards becoming a new person. It always does, for better or worse. I take this push and I use it to change myself, to work with the emotions that come up. I do this relentlessly, so that at some point I do not have to feel as if I lost the love of my life, because I am different today. My needs are different today, I am a better and a more mature version of myself.
This is how I deal with loss…