Proud of myself

Most people around me these days have not had to fight the battles I have. They have no idea what it means to have their father yell at them for calling him father in front his colleague. They have no idea what it means to grow up with a mother who has anger issues and is neglectful.

Over last five years I have had to struggle a lot. When other people spent their money and time on exotic vacations, I was going through therapy and some pretty disturbing emotions. This is the route that the people around me will never understand. They will never understand how difficult it is to relive all of what happened in your dysfunctional childhood.

I am proud of myself exactly because I am not a drug user or being in a violent relationship. I am proud of myself because I am not on a regular basis feeling bad about myself and trying to compensate it with external validation. I am so incredibly proud over where I have come. The people around me and their healthy childhood just extenuate this fact. If I was still struggling with extremely low self-esteem and social phobia, I would never become friends or acquaintances with such people.

I know, I still have a way to go. I know I still have issues to tackle. But I can also see the immense progress I have made throughout the years. So, again, I am so proud of myself!


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