I have no idea how to deal with happiness

When something gets too good, I start to worry. It must some automatic code, but I get worried when I am happy. Something in the back of my mind tells me- something bad will happen soon. I start to see potential problems with the situation, because I do not trust that something can be good. The same goes about people who appear in my life- I am constantly looking for signs of potential danger. All signs of unreliability or potential aggressiveness make me super concerned.

I guess this is a normal reaction when you have grown up in a household which is highly unpredictable. Naturally I also chose my boyfriend according this experience (he is highly unpredictable and easily angered). As a result when anything in my life starts going too good, I am getting increasingly anxious because I am already anticipating potential downfall. After all, the peace situation at my home never lasted too long. This is also one of the reasons why I cannot relax to any relationship. I am too busy reading all the signs of potential problems.

So what to do about it? Potentially make contact with the parts of you that were so scared and afraid all my childhood. Start to trust myself and my ability to handle any stress that comes to my way. This will be something that I aspire to achieve during next months in my therapy.

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