Chasing people and the background

I am slowly waking up to the fact that, in fact, I am not only chasing my romantic partners, but also other people. Former friends….colleagues. This seems to be like a logic conclusion, because why should such a predominant pattern in my life be applicable to only one area of my life.

What I still struggle to understand however is- am I choosing such people, am I emotionally more needy or is something else in me driving people away?

Now, I do think I am emotionally needy. I also think I attach myself easily to people and perhaps give no time for friendships to warm up. I need to become more independent, in fact. However, I feel this is not a full explanation.

I am visiting my homecountry and struggling to make a contact with a friend. She tells me that she is constantly busy (for a whole week). Now the funny thing is that, when she was visiting me in my country of residence, I made my weekend free. I even organized my moving to the day where it did not irrupt with meeting her. Now, I asked instead for a skype meeting and she seems to be even too busy for skype. I think. at this point, I could call this person rather an acquaintance than a friend, or what is your opinion?

What puzzels me, however, is the fact that this keeps happening with different people.


2 thoughts on “Chasing people and the background

  1. Are you in therapy? I recommend it if not. I’m learning a lot about my patterns of behavior in therapy and I’m doing less online speculation. Not suggesting that is what you are doing, but having a strong guide has been very beneficial to me.


  2. I am in psychotherapy which functions a bit differently from CBT. We mostly address my feelings in relation to some events and as the feelings change- shame etc., I will automatically start noticing that, something is wrong in the situations. Hence, me and my psychologist spend very little time talking about specific events. So far this has functioned as I am almost over of my feelings of shame for instance. However, this approach also means that the most part of analysis on how these feelings have translated to my current life is on me


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